Midwife > OB GYN

Welcome to 6 months and what an odd week this has been already!

Monday, I met with my midwife, after several phone interviews I chose an in person consult with my favorite option, and had an amazing hour sit down with her. We went in her every possible concern, question, and topic imaginable. It was fabulous to have someone discuss my health and hopes without once glancing at a watch or wall clock. She was amazingly supportive about the path I’ve been taking as far as workouts, nutrition, and was also able to give me some ideas of things to consider without making me feel lectured or directed. I noticed my weight had spiked (155 from 145 when I last checked a month prior) at her office but assumed it was a different scale, and afternoon water. She assured me I was well within a healthy range and my weight was otherwise a complete non topic.

Tuesday, I had my regularly scheduled OB appointment to go over the more in depth organ ultrasounds I had last week, and discuss any concerns he may have. Pending no issues or concerns I already planned this to be my last traditional medical appointment. Of course the first thing was the scale (154 with shoes etc) and I flinched mildly, it wasn’t the scale I had tipped over the 150 range for sure… After vitals and the typically long wait, my OB popped in and before hardly a greeting came the comment. Wow you’ve gained a lot of weight. Did you stop working out? No. Hmmm Did you change your eating habits? No. Hmmm Well maybe it’s just water you’ll lose 10 lbs of that during childbirth. He briefly moved on, I explained I wouldn’t be seeing him in the future (which he was gracious about)… and I left his office with permission for them to forward my medical records to the midwife.

Wednesday, I wake up beginning slowly with a short meditation, followed by coffee and homemade toast with avocado. Once I’ve caught up on the news I take Zia out for a walk when it hits me. I allowed a 30ish year old doctor with little to zero nutrition education to alter my perception of my body for just a brief moment. First, of all I hiked 17 miles in the sun on Sunday, and at almost exclusively carbs and about 6 liters of fluids. Next, I took Monday as a rest day doing only my pregnancy yoga and a short mile or so walk, while also eating more savory salt foods than normal. In any given day I gain 6-8 lbs from morning to evening with water retention, but always drastically more after an athletic event. One 100 mile race I gained and held onto about 15 lbs for almost a week. While I don’t normally consider hiking “athletic” the 8 hours of hiking and hanging out in the sun, and the effort of the 17 miles is athletic right now. Of course my weight was up, this morning I woke up “debloated” and probably closer to 150 (not that a number matters ans by no means defines me)…. but I was shocked at myself that I let an ignorant male cause me to question myself, my process, and my body, just because of a lab coat.

And I am left with the horrific thought, how many women end up traumatized by men in this scenario when the typical MD has the limited education they got in high school health class with everyone else nation wide?

Larger than expected…

Spending a large part of yesterday at an ultrasound clinic, alone and in a mask, with long waits, repeated hand sanitizer stations, temperature checks, and over an hour on a cold metal table was all worth it… To see your heart beat, each beautiful chamber, to know your main internal organs all have made their appearances, and to see you “move more than normal”… was such a beautiful reassurance.

As we consider home birth more seriously, it is not something I take without consideration of caution. While things are not ever fully in our control, I take the choice of the healthiest delivery with the upmost importance. That delivery is a journey for both of us, and one that I am preparing for each day.

There are so many communities within the birthing community, from the more radical free birth society that I have the upmost respect for, to the designer delivery that I can’t personally relate with, but I still respect… I know my decision to potentially hire a midwife and choose to attempt to avoid a hospital delivery, is not without risk. Isn’t that the beauty of life though, a series of calculated risks? Some we take every time we dine out, get behind the wheel, or even when we lace up our running shoes. Others come in the process of a cross country move, a new career endeavor, or in the choice of commitment to a relationship.

23 weeks, measuring 24-25 weeks

Knowing you are healthy, “larger than expected”, and seeing your heart function so cleanly was such a beautiful sight. So now we ponder Cosmo my love, what path shall we take for the beginnings of your time here outside of me?

Staying Flexible, at 22 Weeks

One of the things sports has taught me, is the importance of staying flexible both mentally and physically. As I progress in pregnancy, I am keeping flexibility in mind, not just that of my pelvic floor but that of my spirit, habits, mindset, and of course expectations of my physical body.

One of my dear friends Katja is a doula, unfortunately not close enough I could claim her as my own here on Big Island, however she has a fabulous business BEST Birth Hawaii. Yet, some wisdoms she has imparted with me, have encouraged me to allow my body to relax, to dive into the flexibility of the process, and to focus on my long term goals of a healthy and happy birth process.

My goal is of course, a natural birth, however I do believe in medical intervention when necessary. Navigating education of this, debating options, and diving into the preparations of attempting a natural birth, requires flexibility of mind and body.

Some things I have begun to do with more intention and consistency, include daily movements or yoga, meditation and positive birth experience research, and attempting to listen to the intuition of how my body wants to move (or not move) each day. I have discovered by listening to my body, some of my runs have become walks, some have become near sprints or at least much faster than I have been running the last 5 months. Each day is unique, and the discovery of what that pace and movement will be, is enjoyable in the journey. I am still running more miles than most, grateful for each one of them now. I have been training for strength still, with a focus on mobility and breath more so than before…

“The choices and preparations that you make before the birth have great impact on your birth experience.” – Penny Simkin

Halfway to the Finish or Just getting Started?

This week is 20 almost to 21 weeks pregnant, halfway there by the medical definition. Although, the first few weeks, were kind of a “given”, I did know before I was “late” and normally before most women are able to tell… I do know most first time moms go longer than the “40 weeks” especially ones of European descent ( generally 41.5 weeks), so thats my mental “due date”. I have zero intentions of rushing this process, as long as we both remain healthy.

Hiking up a hill, to run down, seems to be the new tempo of my running.

So where am I at? Whats the good the bad and the ugly?

The good:

I’m still running a fair amount, this week was a lower volume week due to more cycling, and more adult responsibilities, but in perspective I haven’t had but one low mileage week since I’ve been pregnant. Most weeks are ranging between 35 miles a week ( with more cycling & strength) and 55 miles a week ( with good weather & great company) .

I haven’t gained much weight, this week the doctors put me at 144. For perspective, my normal training weight is 125 – 128, my trying to get pregnant weight was 135 – 137. So I’m up about 10 pounds at this point? Either way, I’m comfortable, enjoying the fact Im showing, but still able to wear 99% of my clothing.

I discovered a non alcoholic beer I enjoy, and have been indulging in that every so often, to feel like Im having splurge.

Billy has been, amazing, sensitive, kind, thoughtful, helpful, and if anything overwhelmingly supportive in ways I didn’t imagine possible. I only have to make an odd face, or ask for help, and without any sort of question he is up for whatever task or chore I may need assistance with. . . which brings us to the next topic, the bad.

We settled on a name with far less debating than I thought may need to take place. Its magical, its perfect, and it can’t cross my lips without a smile. I am so happy we were able to find the right name for him.

The bad:

My bladder is seemingly normal, unless Im running. Then it seems to fatigue quickly, and frequent trail stops have become absurdly common, at minimal every 20 minutes or so.

I have had three vomits, this entire pregnancy. Once was getting to close to the compost with a hyper sensitive nose a few months ago, but two were in the last week, I’m not sure if it was a bad meal, a mild stomach bug, or just some baby adjustments. I’m hopeful vomiting doesn’t become more common place, but if it does, I’ll manage, I’m super grateful its been so minimal so far!

I suppose I have had the touches of what would be labeled as heart burn, its something I’ve never experienced, and it hasn’t caused any serious issues. It seems to start as soon as I eat in the morning, and hangs around mildly until I go to bed. It if becomes uncomfortable, I’ve been advised Tums are quite the coping mechanism, but I’m open to all ideas.

The ugly:

Insomnia in the first trimester, was coupled with nightmares that luckily seem to have dissipated. I think with less stress about the health of the baby, and making it this far, I am less anxious about the entire situation. Either that or the upgrade from full bed to king bed, was a worthy investment.

If you’re still here, I’m shocked, but thank you for tuning in to the updates.

Handling Peoples “Advice”

One of the first, and best pieces of advice Ive received by a close friend was to shun “pregnancy” advice. Since announcing my pregnancy I’ve been bombarded by advice on what to do with my body… “take it easy”, “you’re doing too much”, “enjoy sleep now you’ll never get it again”…. And a variety of unsolicited words, that if I listened to them all, I would lock myself in the house, with a sense of impending doom, and just cry about the state of my future.

Luckily, I’ve never been one to listen to rules or to other peoples opinions, so being able to ignore and take in stride the onslaught hasn’t given me the emotional grief that it may a more sensitive person. Below are a few important steps I’ve learned to naturally take that I think may be helpful:

  1. Examine why the person feels the need to offer the advice. Was it solicited or not? What may be their own insecurities or areas of unhappiness that could be coloring their perception of your situation.
  2. Establish boundaries, even if this is a close family member. Don’t be afraid to speak up or message back, with a polite but firm boundary. “Thank you, but I’m choosing to remain positive about XYZ, and I will reach out if I want another opinion on it. If you don’t mind, I really appreciate your supportive silence on the matter right now. ”
  3. Examine why you may be defensive. Is it because you are insecure about your choices or situation? Or is it simply unsolicited negativity?
  4. If you do find you are insecure about something. “Am I actually running too much?” Then seek the most qualified professional you can find on the topic, and empower yourself with the knowledge on the matter to reaffirm your position on the matter.
  5. Finally, remember change is ok. If after following the above steps you decide, maybe you are wrong or doing something incorrectly. Don’t hold onto pride, move forward with the empowerment of your education and change your actions to best reflect what you now think is best. And if anyone feels the need to sass you, well back to step 2.

Good luck with whatever your situation is, and remember to enjoy the wild ride of the journey ahead of you.

Maintaining Positive Body Image (while Pregnant)

One of the questions, I was most requested to answer was how was I staying mentally comfortable in my skin with a body shape that was changing daily. To be honest, this is something I slept on and mulled over a few days before responding. For the most part of my life I’ve had a healthy, confident body image, with a few highlighted times of overconfidence ( my first few bodybuilding shows or anytime I’ve had more than 2 alcoholic drinks), and a few low times ( related to negative commentary on my body from my ex-husband)…. However, overall I’ve been confident in myself, if my body doesn’t look my “ideal” I have always focused on what my body could do and accomplish athletically…. It probably also helps, I have the knowledge to change the aesthetics of my physique at any time, it was just a debate on if I wanted to put in the work and make the sacrifices of those changes. “Several studies have indicated that pregnant women have a more positive body-image than non-pregnant women”, which is something for readers to look forward to during pregnancy – “although their ‘ideal’ body shape remains in line with the ultra-thin cultural ideal, their concerns about failing to match this ideal are reduced during pregnancy.” So without further rambling, I’ll post the things I think that have helped me stay happy and confident in my changing body.

Having a supportive partner: Billy is and always has been the kindest most complimentary partner. He has never negatively and would never comment anything but positive things about my body, and his supportive corrections of any of the small verbal things I’ve said negatively about my body have been so helpful. Ie. Me – “OMG my stomach is huge right now”… Him- “You’re pregnant and its beautiful” … Play this on repeat 20 times in a week, and I stop making verbal or even mental commentary about the changes that could be perceived as negative, and start being more excited to see the changes.

Having physical and visual reminders of support: Billy and I have a notepad on our refrigerator, normally covered in notes like, “have a nice day…. can you walk the dog?… I love you we need to buy tofu…. ” but for the last several months, I haven’t written anything on the notepad… because I’ve enjoyed his positive messages too much to ever erase them.

And a physical reminder, I’ve enjoyed so much that started almost as a fluke (me being needy and whiney one day) …. but has become a nightly ritual… One evening I asked him to put lotion on my body (something I’ve been trying to do every evening to avoid extra stretch marks), and since then he’s spent the last ten minutes before we go to bed every night, doing something so simple that obviously I could do it myself, but it feels like an intimate appreciation of my body and is a daily reminder that he’s happy with my changing shape.

Being Kind in the Mirror: A little positive self talk goes a long way. I’ve been taking just a moment each day, when I brush my teeth or whatever to appreciate my abdominal region. It changes hourly, at 18 weeks I still wakeup in the morning with an almost flat stomach, but by the time I’ve done anything, had a half a cup of coffee, the muscles are fatigued and a bump begins to show. By 9pm it’s a huge bump, and really I’ve learned to see it all as an amazing miracle. My current mental situation has me more excited about this bump, than I ever have been by a 6 pack of abs. To create that look only requires, time, discipline, and knowledge. To create this work, is a beautiful development of a life, over which I clearly had zero control over when it would be able to grow. So to me, this is the most amazing thing my body has ever accomplished and letting go of the control over what it’s “supposed” to look like has been very freeing.

Seeing myself daily: I’ve probably worn a sports bra or crop top only more often in the last few months, than I ever have in my life. This is for a few reasons. The practical one is several of my shirts fit annoyingly snug, or tend to ride up to odd locations right now. The other is, familiarity breeds appreciation ( if you’re interested in this phenomena google the Mere-exposure effect) . When I take the action of not covering up my “chub” or my “pooch”, as it appeared during the first trimester, before I began to actually “look pregnant”, I was physically giving myself approval by giving myself acceptance to take up more space, and refusing to apologize for it with baggy new clothing. This action of acceptance, and the Mere-exposure effect, has me feeling my larger new body shape.

Unapologetic at the gym in my curvier shape in a sports bra, “18 weeks pregnant”

Remembering life comes in seasons: I’ve learned patience over the years being a coach. I know that a rapid transformation of body composition is NEVER the healthy ideal, so I have minimal expectations of my body right now. I just have high hopes that Sage Athena will continue to grow healthy. If I can continue to run 40 – 50 miles a week, thats phenomenal, if it has to become cycling, walking, or even bedrest; as long as Sage is healthy, I’m elated. And even if she were not healthy, I can feel confident that in this season I did my best possible attempts at pregnancy. Post pregnancy, will be similar, that season will revolve around Sage, and whatever my body does, I will choose gratitude, versus judgement.

Hopefully, my sharing my experience is something of value to each of you. I hope you all LOVE LOVE LOVE your bodies, because they are all amazing miracles. Look at what your body does for you each and every day. That in itself is a beautiful work, be proud of what your body can do, then put in the work to change the aesthetic if you so desire.

What is your schedule like?

A request I got on my Instagram was what a normal day looks like for me. . How do I workout so much? Do I even have to work?

Yes, I work full time or more, but its not a normal 9 – 5. Its more like this….

6:00 / 7:00 am Wake up, text my friend in the neighborhood see which of us is up first, and walk our dogs together. If one of us is up and moving first we just go and meet up when the other wakes up. I try to wake up naturally, so when I’m not pregnant I tend to sleep better to 7 am, and lately its been anywhere between 3 am and 7 am wake ups.

Mornings with Zia and my dear friend are some of most enjoyable moments of every day

8:00 am Make breakfast, clean up the house, start bread if making some for the evening or soak beans ie. begin any long term dinner preps that need to happen

9:00 am Gym or Bike trainer at home or Run or a combo of the following, some mornings meet with in person training clients ( to learn more about that click here)

18 week belly bump on the bike trainer, while I normally enjoy the heat pregnancy REQUIRES a fan & water nearby!

11:00 am Catch up on client emails, make lunch

2:00 pm work on more workout & nutrition plans for clients or run errands, potentially gym if I didn’t earlier in the day, maybe finish house cleaning, a few days a week I have clients in this midday/mid afternoon client.

3:00 try to squeeze in a second dog walk if possible. One unexpected thing about being pregnant (it makes sense I just didn’t think of it prior) is I really miss running with my dog. Because my balance is a little wonky I feel clumsy and have been primarily walking her (since our neighborhood needs leashes) and her runs have had to be with Billy or the once a week or so I drive somewhere that she can run off leash.

4:00 pm Billy should be getting home soon, work a little more so I can hopefully not have too much to do in the evening

4:30/ 5:00 pm start dinner (depending on Billy’s post work workout plans and how long they will be this timeline may adjust )

6:00/7:00 pm eat dinner watch a Netflix show ( lately its been obsessing over Great British Baking Show)

8:00 pm Final work emails, return client texts, adjust anything that is needed in the next 24 hours for clients

9:00 pm bedtime

On the weekend this schedule varies more based on Billy’s availability and usually to allow a longer run or hike at least one of the mornings and a Farmers Market Trip another morning… It will be interesting to see with a newborn how this will adjust, and what capacity it limits my daily flexibilities.

One of the things Billy and I have been doing is building a cabin for guests, but also to make it a small gym area, so that leaving the house to go to the gym won’t be a necessity. I know with sleep compromised potentially more than it is currently I’ll want to be able to workout whenever the scheduling permits and the energy allows. Another thing I have been doing, is running more trails and doing less of my bike trainer and less road running, in preparation for the reality that road running and the bike trainer will probably have to be my main sources of cardiovascular activity for a while.

What scheduling adjustments did you have to make with a newborn?

Fitness while Pregnant

While I am qualified to write you a fitness program, this blog is meant to only speak to my own experience. It is not mean to demonstrate “what your fitness program” should look like while pregnant. As I am 18 weeks pregnant this coming Friday, I can really only speak for the time that I have lived, and I will aspire to share more, as time passes. If you want coaching you can checkout that website, or email me thru the contact form here.

Currently, I have been running or walking between 40 – 50 miles a week, with some cycling. I go to the gym ( small private and usually Im the only one there for those with Covid concerns), two to five days a week. My workouts are 20 – 45 minutes at the gym, strength only no plyometrics or cardio. I prefer to do my cardio outdoors or at home on Zwift, on my bike trainer.

Things that I have discovered that help…

Hydration: Being pregnant, hydration is more important that ever. Where as before I could easily jam in a gym workout hydration free, I’ve learn that mild stomach distress is best handled early with a carbonated seltzer water… I try to never leave for the gym, without some form of hydration, maybe two especially if I plan to run after !!!

Protein: While I’m not a huge supplement fan, protein is extremely important when creating life. And post gym I’m usually lower appetite, so if nothing else I try to have a post gym protein shake. I choose vegan shakes that are NSF tested if I’m going to have one, otherwise I try to eat a meal when I get home to best optimize muscle recovery and make sure the both of us have all the nutrients needed.

Recovery: Billy and I have a pair of recovery boots that seem to aid with compression, swelling, tired legs post run, or post lots of dog walks while dealing with pregnancy. I have been over the top protective to the point of feeling lazy, bailing out on almost all social runs for fear of overdoing it or not being able to go “my pace”… But I think the best recovery element is sleep, which still escapes me from time to time, so when it’s lacking I’ll choose long dog walks over trail runs, try to add in afternoon naps which seem to be nightmare free ( so far).

Gym time: Gym time has become more incorporated into my weekly cycle than it is when I run more. There are a few reasons for this. First, it seems to be easier to breath between weight lifting sets, versus while trying to run up a hill. Second, while I can’t control my cardiovascular capabilities as much right now, I can control muscle atrophy and potential muscle loss. So while lifting feels good, I’m doing more of it, if that changes my schedule will adjust accordingly.

Perspective: While what Im doing currently feels like “not much”, or “slow and sluggish”, I am very aware that both my current “heavier body” and “lower exercise levels” are what a lot of people would strive for as their “goal fitness”. I am acutely aware of these realities, and SO SO SO GRATEFUL, that this pregnancy to this point has felt manageable with a fitness routine. I know thats not the case for so many moms. My own mother wasn’t allowed to do anything but walk, and as someone who was an avid runner, swimmer, and cyclist that was crushing to her. So knowing this I am thrilled for what my body is doing and of what it is capable, and I’ve done my best to “keep my eyes on my own paper” or my focus on my own pregnancy, and not compare with elite athletes I may know thru work or social circles. That said, it is a constant adjustment of what feels right for my body, what feels like a workout, but still easy, and what that may look like will change as things progress.

It’s not worth a forest fire.

In the true train wreck of 2020, a massive forest fire was recently begin by a gender reveal party gone wrong. And now that you all know a little more of Billy’s personality type you can only imagine, neither of us wanted to begin a forest fire… Or to have a party based off of the predicted gender a child may embrace ( or not ) depending on what their genitalia looked like on an ultrasound.

I was convinced Sage was a boy, the name I had known since the beginning. Billy seemed concerned Sage wasn’t a boys name, but I was withholding debates until we could find out if one was even needed.

The reason I knew Sage was a boy was simple. Pregnancy was going along pretty easy. Sure my runs had slowed down some ( a lot ), and I had to walk up every incline. Sure my sleep was suffering, I had a few aches and pains mostly a stiff back by the evenings most days. But it wasn’t what the internet made it out to be. I hadn’t been sick, if anything only mildly queasy once at the gym. My mom had told me stories of vomiting in every state on the east coast, my friends with girls had discussed more than once how miserable they were. So Sage was clearly a boy, still I registered for gender neutral things. I’m a bit in love with a capsule wardrobe in my own life, and I see no reason a future infant would need frivolous things, or an overbearing wardrobe constantly proclaiming their genitals.

Still, to the doctor together we went for my 15 week appointment, and with the snark that endears my gynecologist to me he asked, “Do you want to know what your child is? Or would you prefer I write it down for some stranger to tell you in a cake or something?”…. We responded with our lack of interest in beginning forest fires, and proceeded to find out that Sage Athena was 95% surely a girl. So here we are, with a name, a high probability on biological sex, and no need for any name debates.

This time, announcement came easy as we had an epic weekend long run, and one of the photos seemed flawless for the social update…. Several people who don’t read captions, thought it was a pregnancy announcement, but my excitement was more over the long run. 18 miles and about 6,000 feet of elevation gain. It seemed the second trimester truly is a little more golden. My longest run prior during known pregnancy was 16 miles with 3,000 feet of elevation gain, so it was beginning to feel like my body was my own again.

With some occasional sleep, and feeling stamina for mountain summits and ocean trails, I find myself with just a pinch of guilt, am I enjoying this too much ?